Ramble On

A conversation betwixt Hobo and eM

Hobo: I don't get why only boys are writing in to my Honesty Box (on facebook).
eM: Someone wrote in thinking that I'm pretentious and that I'm actually a lot smarter than I let on.........was it you?
Hobo: No. Was it a girl? It's pink for a girl.
eM: How original. Yes it's a girl. They're all girls!
Hobo: It wasn't me. (It's all me actually hahaha) Anyway so someone wrote in saying I love your tits and the personality that comes with them.

*community chuckle*

Hobo: I know who it is, we have a rather frank and open dialogue between us.
eM: You do? Only girls write in to me....there's another one it goes blah blah blah blah.
Hobo: That was me. So I figure this means I'm the personalititty.
eM: Personalititty? Can I use it?
Hobo: Them? No. It? No.



What happened to good ol' fashioned doing it?

(Chat courtesy KVA)

me: im damn sleepy man

just dont feel like working

Sputnik: why... slept late?

me: kinda, n broken sleep n shit

Sputnik: why.. man..

me: i dont think u wanna get into that

Sputnik: i see you're life is pretty rockin!!!

me: shit happens man

Sputnik: drugs.. sex.... and rock"n"roll

me: kinda...

something like ur college days

Sputnik: u livin like a rockstar

me: im a little late to burst on the scene

Sputnik: my college days???/

me: u lived that life in college man

Sputnik: u mean.. the girlfriend life!!!!

me: u dont need to attach a term to it dude

just keep it as sex, drugs n rock n roll

since we're on this topic, can u help me with something

Sputnik: cool

me: whts a good condom to go for? :-)

Sputnik: durex....

me: any particular type?

or its all the same

u know, like the ribbed n shit

Sputnik: thin is good

me: cool

Sputnik: you've had the sex before... u dont need help

me: yeah dude, but
i dont know whts the scene on the protection front

the latest technology n shit

besides, theres always more to learn

Sputnik: dont know.. man... havent had sex for a while..

Sputnik: i aint so good at hittin on chicks... ioh my god... his chicks are not to be spoken of

me : R's?

Sputnik: yeah.. man.. really sad choice of women

me: i dont think he operates by choice dude

its about getting what u can

n i think u set very high standards for ur self
ur not brad pitt u know

n u dont have a big flashy fancy car

Sputnik: i know....

me: we guys have to learn to settle with 2nd best

dont go for the girl in the red dress man

Sputnik: i aint going for the dress in the red dress


me: hahahahah

n this S is seeing someone else?

Sputnik: It's K

me: dont get sentu

Sputnik: no she's been interested in some pilot dude.. for a long time...

drives a freakin honda accord!!

but no,, she's not going out.
me: tell the fucker to go fly his plane n give u the accord man

Sputnik: yeah... life is so pretty...

me: n the pilot also likes her

u have to make her understand that pilots are not faithful n shit

they have chicks in every city n all

Sputnik: i know....

me: they have orgies on the plane with the air hostess

Sputnik: hey.. fuck you.. man

me: im just trying to help man

Sputnik: in what way

me: u gotta explain this shit to her

so she doesnt like the pilot dude

Sputnik: explain what?

me: that that is what pilots do dumbass

have orgies with the air hostess' on the plane

Sputnik: aaaaaaah


damn .. mna'

me: stupid fool

Sputnik: she'll get pissed if talk shit like that

me: thats the idea. she shd get pissed at the pilot

Sputnik: no u fool

she'll get pissed at me

Sputnik: man....

u trippin now

me: im just trying to help man

brain storming

Sputnik: appreciate it.. man


Where were you when we were getting high?

Chitgo: check out pics of my newly decked up room from my blog
eM: i did i did!!!
very nice :)
you star decorator, you
Chitgo: :)
so i know the likes of u need personal invitation:)
anytime ur tired after work/or not:)
just swing by
eM: listen, one thing i have learnt from this city
is ALWAYS wait for an invitation
at the risk of being a pile on :)
but, i would love to come and check it out
tomorrow, yes?
Chitgo: :) well honestly the rest of the flat isnt that done up:)
eM: awwwwwwww
are you retracting invite already?
Chitgo: hahah
tomorrow it is!
what time?
eM: i don't know?
Chitgo: 8:30?
eM: ufff
Chitgo: aiiee..baba i wont be home 7ishh
eM: WHY do you want to make me sit at work for so long?
Chitgo: hahahahaha
ok. can we play it by ear then? cos i might be working in late tomorrow
eM: grah
okay, fine
Chitgo: u get angry with me so fast:)
eM: only for you will i play it by ear
Chitgo: thank u
i know u hate playing it by that appendage
but still.
eM: i'm a planner!!
it's my role in the universe
Chitgo: so am i!
to plan?
what a role
eM: rubbish
Chitgo: its my role to be cool
it was in my janampatri
eM: you are not a real planner
Chitgo: i am not the quintissential planner
as u might be
eM: modesty was clearly overlooked
Chitgo: oh absolutely
we couldnt have it all:)
eM: i now am extremely modest
besides being fabulous
like complete package type
Chitgo: yes
almost like me
kiddign kidding
we bask in the rays of your fabulous personage
basking i say
eM: we allow basking, graciously
it's a hard life
but someone has to do it
Chitgo: such generous souls
i dont allow basking. its bad for my cooleth
and i have a cold now btw
we didnt accidentally make out that night did we? cos nothing else explains this sudden under weather feeling:P
damn u eM, the germs are upon me
eM: i don't THINK we made out :)
Chitgo: hahahaha
eM: but i can never be sure these days
Chitgo: hHahaha
shut up, silly girl
eM: if it makes you feel any better, one flatmate has also been stricken
struck even
Chitgo: damn
u are the plague
eM: i am NOT
just coz i'm hot people want to be close to me
Chitgo: ahahahahaha
eM: what can i do
Chitgo: yes. hot with DISEASE
eM: oh, stop l,aughing :P
most insulting
Chitgo: ur funny
eM: hmph!
Chitgo: no no ! so quickly she gets grumpy
eM: i'll have you know SOME people think i am fairly attractive :P
oh i'm not angry!!
just bantering
Chitgo: dude, did i ever deny that?
eM: i am a banterer
Chitgo: ur just fishing for compliments now
which ive more than supplied u with :P
eM: me? fish for compliments?
Chitgo: hahhaha
eM: besides, i don't fish
i whale, baby
(winky type face thing here)
Chitgo: i whale?
eM: as in whale= bigger than fish
Chitgo: hahahahah BAD joke
but taken in good spirit
eM: tequila one hopes
(that one made even me cringe)
Chitgo: aargh
eM: i am FULL of bad jokes today
also in good mood
which is excellent
sun is shining lalalalala
Chitgo: :) i love good mood type people
weather is good..make u wanna move...
bob marley - sun is shining remix rules
eM: have not heard
Chitgo: yeah
very old
but very catchy dancy number
eM: i want o have parteeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
and dress prettilt
prettily, i mean
Chitgo: hahahaha
eM: and have people come over and tell me they love me
Chitgo: :)
so have party na!
eM: i love hostessing
i vill, i vill
Chitgo: i have 2 parties coming up in november
eM: on october the 28th
Chitgo: birthday and house warming in gurgaon
eM: whyfor two?
which one am i invited to?
Chitgo: both moron
october 28th?
eM: halloween!!
Chitgo: hahha
eM: which is on 31st
Chitgo: with theme and all??
eM: which is a tuesday
Chitgo: oh ok
eM: but naturellement, cherie
theme is essential
Chitgo: sacre bleu
eM: no costume=no entry
Chitgo: god damn. can i wear a batman t-shirt?
eM: nooooooooooooo
Chitgo: ill stand outside your house and have my own party
the 'too cool' for theme type people will join me
which will be all of 1 person- me
eM: :)
you CAN'T
you’re my JUNIOR
Chitgo: hahahahahahahahahaha
eM: i order you
Chitgo: for all eternity:)
eM: :)
being a junior doesn't just go away you know
tsk, i am surprised at your attitude young man
stand tall, be proud!! :)
Chitgo: hahaha
i do:)
whats not to be proud of?
have u seen me:P:)
eM: ahhhhhh, this is true
fine upstanding citzen
etc :)
Chitgo: strapping young lad
as they say
eM: doesn't return phone calls
Chitgo: with a hint of mischief
eM: but still, somewhat fine
Chitgo: i am never going to hear the end of that am i ?
eM: no, actually :)
Chitgo: damn
eM: it's RUDE not to call your friends back!!
RUDE i tell you
okay fine
don't go away!
we still like you!
Chitgo: we ?
suddenly ur a group?
eM: my multiple personalities
and i
of course i'm a group!
Chitgo: god damn
eM: i'm a whole CITY
Chitgo: groupie does not equal group eM
sorry, i crack myself up
you're a whole CITY?
eM: now THAT was a bad joke
ya dude
Chitgo: hahaha
eM: eM land
it's a wonderful place
Chitgo: listen, it was almost jayt leno compared to WHALE
eM: when one compares oneself to jay leno, one knows ones humour is not, shall we say, exactly funny
Chitgo: u dont think jay leno is funny?
eM: noooooooooooooooooooo
he is strange
Chitgo: then we disagree mon ami, for along with dave chappell, conan o brien and russell peters, jay leno is god
eM: dave chappel, yes
conan o' brien, welllllll, okay
elen degneres is also good
but jay leno? you can do so so so much better
Chitgo: no way...the guy has had some awesome moments
and his semi-italian roots rule
eM: anyway.
so friday! boss has given me a bottle of port wine!
small bottle, but bottle
come and partake?


How It All Began

Once there was an eM and there was a chitgo and they were very funny people.

And so it came to pass that the eM and the chitgo decided their brilliancies should not be selfishly kept between the two of them.

And so the eM (who is full of good ideas) said, "Verily my friend, we should share our wit with the world."

And the chitgo (who is the soul of generosity) said, "Thou speakest the truth and why not let others too contribute their own gospel?"

And this was the conversation they had:

eM: i have a great idea for a new blog!!
and you're joining it
no arguments :P
chitgo: haha
what's this blog about?
did you see my comment :)
i think it's the sweetest thing i've ever said to u
and it wasn't even deserved
me: i know!!
i'm all misty eyed

it was so deserved
i almost wept with all this real life love
chitgo: oops
no but i said what i meant
i find it difficult to relate your blog avatar to who you are
you're the kind of girl who basically good things should happen to
me: ya, lots of people say that
about me not being eM ie
not about good things

chitgo: hmmm
eM: but i hope they do happen
anyway.. so the new blog
that i'm starting
is basically going to be a chat transcript blog
for all the brilliances people exchange online
i think it's a fab idea
what do you think?
chitgo: hhaha
tht'a awesome:)
it stems from our famous chat!

chitgo: im on :D
fun fun fun
eM: and we should let other people contribute as well
chitgo: absolutely
eM: although by email or by comments?
Dhruv: email...if you have the time
eM: hahaha... i know
so much time wasting
eM: keyboard bitchslaps/
i quite like it
chitgo: hahaah yeah :)
keyboard bitchslaps:)

And so, if thou hast a keyboard bitchslap, shareth it with us in the comments section or email (thecompulsiveconfessorATgmailDOTcom) so that your wisdom too can be taken forward in the world.

(Chats will be published just as they are sent, if you want a particular name or URL highlighted, please make that clear in your email. Thanks!)