tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25304924999356041302011-12-17T00:09:03.428-08:00Because you KNOW you're funnier with a keyboardeMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12716202062654957842noreply@blogger.comBlogger41100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2530492499935604130.post-6721840787849886642007-06-28T12:42:00.000-07:002007-06-28T12:49:00.458-07:00A conversation betwixt Hobo and eM<br /><br />Hobo: I don't get why only boys are writing in to my Honesty Box (on facebook).<br />eM: Someone wrote in thinking that I'm pretentious and that I'm actually a lot smarter than I let on.........was it you?<br />Hobo: No. Was it a girl? It's pink for a girl.<br />eM: How original. Yes it's a girl. They're all girls!<br />Hobo: It wasn't me. (It's all me actually hahaha) Anyway so someone wrote in saying I love your tits and the personality that comes with them.<br /><br />*community chuckle*<br /><br />Hobo: I know who it is, we have a rather frank and open dialogue between us.<br />eM: You do? Only girls write in to me....there's another one it goes blah blah blah blah.<br />Hobo: That was me. So I figure this means I'm the personalititty.<br />eM: Personalititty? Can I use it?<br />Hobo: Them? No. It? No.<br /><br />:)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2530492499935604130-672184078784988664?l=keyboardbitchslaps.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>hedonistic hobohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02693480297800328494noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2530492499935604130.post-20144080793461524632007-06-27T14:35:00.000-07:002007-06-27T02:50:54.619-07:00(Chat courtesy <a href="http://sameshwar.blogspot.com/">KVA</a>)<br /><br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: im damn sleepy man<br /> <br />just dont feel like working<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: why... slept late?<br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: kinda, n broken sleep n shit<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: why.. man..<br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: i dont think u wanna get into that<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: i see you're life is pretty rockin!!!<br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: shit happens man<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: drugs.. sex.... and rock"n"roll<br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: kinda...<br /> <br />something like ur college days<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: u livin like a rockstar<br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: im a little late to burst on the scene<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: my college days???/<br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: u lived that life in college man<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: u mean.. the girlfriend life!!!!<br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: u dont need to attach a term to it dude<br /> <br />just keep it as sex, drugs n rock n roll<br /> <br />since we're on this topic, can u help me with something<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: cool<br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: whts a good condom to go for? :-)<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: durex....<br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: any particular type?<br /> <br />or its all the same<br /> <br />u know, like the ribbed n shit<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: thin is good<br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: cool<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: you've had the sex before... u dont need help<br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: yeah dude, but<br />i dont know whts the scene on the protection front<br /> <br />the latest technology n shit<br /> <br />besides, theres always more to learn<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: dont know.. man... havent had sex for a while..<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: i aint so good at hittin on chicks... ioh my god... his chicks are not to be spoken of<br /><br /><strong>me </strong>: R's?<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: yeah.. man.. really sad choice of women<br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: i dont think he operates by choice dude<br /> <br />its about getting what u can<br /> <br />n i think u set very high standards for ur self<br />ur not brad pitt u know<br /> <br />n u dont have a big flashy fancy car<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: i know....<br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: we guys have to learn to settle with 2nd best<br /> <br />dont go for the girl in the red dress man<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: i aint going for the dress in the red dress<br /> <br />girl<br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: hahahahah<br /> <br />n this S is seeing someone else?<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: It's K<br /><br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: dont get sentu<br />senti<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: no she's been interested in some pilot dude.. for a long time...<br /> <br />drives a freakin honda accord!!<br /> <br />but no,, she's not going out.<br /><strong>me</strong>: tell the fucker to go fly his plane n give u the accord man<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: yeah... life is so pretty...<br /> <br /><strong>me</strong>: n the pilot also likes her<br /> <br />u have to make her understand that pilots are not faithful n shit<br /> <br />they have chicks in every city n all<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: i know....<br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: they have orgies on the plane with the air hostess<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: hey.. fuck you.. man<br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: im just trying to help man<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: in what way<br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: u gotta explain this shit to her<br /> <br />so she doesnt like the pilot dude<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: explain what?<br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: that that is what pilots do dumbass<br /> <br />have orgies with the air hostess' on the plane<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: aaaaaaah<br /> <br />lol<br /> <br />damn .. mna'<br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: stupid fool<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: she'll get pissed if talk shit like that<br /><br /><strong>me</strong>: thats the idea. she shd get pissed at the pilot<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: no u fool<br /> <br />she'll get pissed at me<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: man....<br /> <br />u trippin now<br /><br /><strong>me:</strong> im just trying to help man<br /> <br />brain storming<br /><br /><strong>Sputnik</strong>: appreciate it.. man<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2530492499935604130-2014408079346152463?l=keyboardbitchslaps.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>eMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12716202062654957842noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2530492499935604130.post-42928977243601302112007-06-02T15:13:00.000-07:002007-06-02T02:47:26.383-07:00<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_0eh-jzeI6wU/RmE8ZbmgsJI/AAAAAAAAAAg/sA3zDoo7U-w/s1600-h/9103.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5071401062999568530" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_0eh-jzeI6wU/RmE8ZbmgsJI/AAAAAAAAAAg/sA3zDoo7U-w/s320/9103.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><strong>Chitgo</strong>: check out pics of my newly decked up room from my blog<br /><strong>eM</strong>: i did i did!!!<br />very nice :)<br />you star decorator, you<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: :)<br />so i know the likes of u need personal invitation:)<br />invitations<br />anytime ur tired after work/or not:)<br />just swing by<br /><strong>eM</strong>: listen, one thing i have learnt from this city<br />is ALWAYS wait for an invitation<br />at the risk of being a pile on :)<br />but, i would love to come and check it out<br />tomorrow, yes?<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: :) well honestly the rest of the flat isnt that done up:)<br /><strong>eM</strong>: awwwwwwww<br />are you retracting invite already?<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: hahah<br />NO!<br />tomorrow it is!<br />what time?<br /><strong>eM</strong>: i don't know?<br />sevenish?<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: 8:30?<br /><strong>eM</strong>: ufff<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: aiiee..baba i wont be home 7ishh<br /><strong>eM</strong>: WHY do you want to make me sit at work for so long?<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: hahahahaha<br />:)<br />ok. can we play it by ear then? cos i might be working in late tomorrow<br /><strong>eM</strong>: grah<br />okay, fine<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: u get angry with me so fast:)<br /><strong>eM</strong>: only for you will i play it by ear<br />:)<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: thank u<br />i know u hate playing it by that appendage<br />but still.<br /><strong>eM</strong>: i'm a planner!!<br />it's my role in the universe<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: so am i!<br />to plan?<br />what a role<br /><strong>eM</strong>: rubbish<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: its my role to be cool<br />it was in my janampatri<br /><strong>eM</strong>: you are not a real planner<br />hahahaha<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: i am not the quintissential planner<br />as u might be<br /><strong>eM</strong>: modesty was clearly overlooked<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: oh absolutely<br />we couldnt have it all:)<br /><strong>eM</strong>: i now am extremely modest<br />besides being fabulous<br />like complete package type<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: yes<br />almost like me<br />hahahahhaa<br />kiddign kidding<br />we bask in the rays of your fabulous personage<br />basking i say<br /><strong>eM</strong>: we allow basking, graciously<br />it's a hard life<br />but someone has to do it<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: such generous souls<br />i dont allow basking. its bad for my cooleth<br />and i have a cold now btw<br />we didnt accidentally make out that night did we? cos nothing else explains this sudden under weather feeling:P<br />damn u eM, the germs are upon me<br /><strong>eM</strong>: i don't THINK we made out :)<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: hahahaha<br /><strong>eM</strong>: but i can never be sure these days<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: hHahaha<br />lol<br />shut up, silly girl<br /><strong>eM</strong>: if it makes you feel any better, one flatmate has also been stricken<br />struck even<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: damn<br />u are the plague<br /><strong>eM</strong>: i am NOT<br />just coz i'm hot people want to be close to me<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: ahahahahaha<br /><strong>eM</strong>: what can i do<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: yes. hot with DISEASE<br /><strong>eM</strong>: oh, stop l,aughing :P<br />most insulting<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: ur funny<br /><strong>eM</strong>: hmph!<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: no no ! so quickly she gets grumpy<br /><strong>eM</strong>: i'll have you know SOME people think i am fairly attractive :P<br />oh i'm not angry!!<br />just bantering<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: dude, did i ever deny that?<br /><strong>eM</strong>: i am a banterer<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: ur just fishing for compliments now<br />which ive more than supplied u with :P<br /><strong>eM</strong>: me? fish for compliments?<br />NEVAH<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: hahhaha<br />:)<br /><strong>eM</strong>: besides, i don't fish<br />i whale, baby<br />(winky type face thing here)<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: i whale?<br /><strong>eM</strong>: as in whale= bigger than fish<br />FOCUS<br />:)<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: hahahahah BAD joke<br />but taken in good spirit<br /><strong>eM</strong>: tequila one hopes<br />(that one made even me cringe)<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: aargh<br /><strong>eM</strong>: i am FULL of bad jokes today<br />:)<br />also in good mood<br />which is excellent<br />sun is shining lalalalala<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: :) i love good mood type people<br />weather is good..make u wanna move...<br />bob marley - sun is shining remix rules<br /><strong>eM</strong>: have not heard<br />good?<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: yeah<br />very old<br />but very catchy dancy number<br /><strong>eM</strong>: i want o have parteeeeeeeeeeeeeeee<br />and dress prettilt<br />prettily, i mean<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: hahahaha<br /><strong>eM</strong>: and have people come over and tell me they love me<br />:)<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: :)<br />so have party na!<br /><strong>eM</strong>: i love hostessing<br />i vill, i vill<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: i have 2 parties coming up in november<br /><strong>eM</strong>: on october the 28th<br />2??<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: birthday and house warming in gurgaon<br /><strong>eM</strong>: whyfor two?<br />ohhhhhhhh<br />which one am i invited to?<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: both moron<br />october 28th?<br />occasion?<br /><strong>eM</strong>: halloween!!<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: hahha<br /><strong>eM</strong>: which is on 31st<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: with theme and all??<br /><strong>eM</strong>: which is a tuesday<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: oh ok<br /><strong>eM</strong>: but naturellement, cherie<br />theme is essential<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: sacre bleu<br /><strong>eM</strong>: no costume=no entry<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: god damn. can i wear a batman t-shirt?<br /><strong>eM</strong>: nooooooooooooo<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: ill stand outside your house and have my own party<br />the 'too cool' for theme type people will join me<br />which will be all of 1 person- me<br /><strong>eM</strong>: :)<br />you CAN'T<br />you’re my JUNIOR<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: hahahahahahahahahaha<br /><strong>eM</strong>: i order you<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: for all eternity:)<br /><strong>eM</strong>: :)<br />being a junior doesn't just go away you know<br />tsk, i am surprised at your attitude young man<br />stand tall, be proud!! :)<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: hahaha<br />i do:)<br />whats not to be proud of?<br />have u seen me:P:)<br /><strong>eM</strong>: ahhhhhh, this is true<br />fine upstanding citzen<br />etc :)<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: strapping young lad<br />as they say<br /><strong>eM</strong>: doesn't return phone calls<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: with a hint of mischief<br />SHhhhhhhhh<br /><strong>eM</strong>: but still, somewhat fine<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: i am never going to hear the end of that am i ?<br /><strong>eM</strong>: no, actually :)<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: damn<br /><strong>eM</strong>: it's RUDE not to call your friends back!!<br />RUDE i tell you<br />ruderuderuderuderude<br />okay fine<br />don't go away!<br />we still like you!<br />:)<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: we ?<br />suddenly ur a group?<br /><strong>eM</strong>: my multiple personalities<br />and i<br />of course i'm a group!<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: god damn<br /><strong>eM</strong>: i'm a whole CITY<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: groupie does not equal group eM<br />hahahahahaahahhahahahahahahahahaha<br />sorry, i crack myself up<br />you're a whole CITY?<br /><strong>eM</strong>: now THAT was a bad joke<br />ya dude<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: hahaha<br /><strong>eM</strong>: eM land<br />it's a wonderful place<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: listen, it was almost jayt leno compared to WHALE<br /><strong>eM</strong>: when one compares oneself to jay leno, one knows ones humour is not, shall we say, exactly funny<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: u dont think jay leno is funny?<br /><strong>eM</strong>: noooooooooooooooooooo<br />he is strange<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: then we disagree mon ami, for along with dave chappell, conan o brien and russell peters, jay leno is god<br /><strong>eM</strong>: dave chappel, yes<br />conan o' brien, welllllll, okay<br />elen degneres is also good<br />but jay leno? you can do so so so much better<br /><strong>Chitgo</strong>: no way...the guy has had some awesome moments<br />and his semi-italian roots rule<br />anyway....<br /><strong>eM</strong>: anyway.<br />:)<br />so friday! boss has given me a bottle of port wine!<br />small bottle, but bottle<br />come and partake?<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2530492499935604130-4292897724360130211?l=keyboardbitchslaps.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>eMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12716202062654957842noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2530492499935604130.post-30013160224485728572007-05-31T17:13:00.000-07:002007-05-31T04:44:22.359-07:00Once there was an <a href="http://thecompulsiveconfessor.blogspot.com">eM</a> and there was a <a href="http://chitgo.nomadlife.org">chitgo</a> and they were very funny people.<br /><br />And so it came to pass that the eM and the chitgo decided their brilliancies should not be selfishly kept between the two of them.<br /><br />And so the eM (who is full of good ideas) said, "Verily my friend, we should share our wit with the world."<br /><br />And the chitgo (who is the soul of generosity) said, "Thou speakest the truth and why not let others too contribute their own gospel?"<br /><br />And this was the conversation they had:<br /><br />eM: i have a great idea for a new blog!!<br /> and you're joining it<br /> no arguments :P<br />chitgo: haha<br /> really?<br /> what's this blog about?<br /> did you see my comment :)<br /> i think it's the sweetest thing i've ever said to u<br /> and it wasn't even deserved<br /> :P<br /> me: i know!!<br /> i'm all misty eyed<br /><br />heyyyyyyyy<br /> it was so deserved<br /> :P<br /> i almost wept with all this real life love<br /> chitgo: oops<br /> no but i said what i meant<br /> i find it difficult to relate your blog avatar to who you are<br /> you're the kind of girl who basically good things should happen to<br /> me: ya, lots of people say that<br /> about me not being eM ie<br /> not about good things<br /><br />chitgo: hmmm<br /> eM: but i hope they do happen<br /> anyway.. so the new blog<br /> that i'm starting<br /> is basically going to be a chat transcript blog<br /> for all the brilliances people exchange online<br /> :)<br /> i think it's a fab idea<br /> what do you think?<br />chitgo: hhaha<br /> tht'a awesome:)<br /> it stems from our famous chat!<br /><br />chitgo: im on :D<br /> yay!<br /> fun fun fun<br /> eM: and we should let other people contribute as well<br /> no?<br /> chitgo: absolutely<br /> eM: although by email or by comments?<br /> Dhruv: email...if you have the time<br />eM: hahaha... i know<br /> so much time wasting<br /> sigh<br />eM: keyboard bitchslaps/<br /> ?<br /> yes?<br />i quite like it<br /> chitgo: hahaah yeah :)<br /> keyboard bitchslaps:)<br /> kickass<br /><br />And so, if thou hast a keyboard bitchslap, shareth it with us in the comments section or email (thecompulsiveconfessorATgmailDOTcom) so that your wisdom too can be taken forward in the world.<br /><br />(Chats will be published just as they are sent, if you want a particular name or URL highlighted, please make that clear in your email. Thanks!)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2530492499935604130-3001316022448572857?l=keyboardbitchslaps.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>eMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12716202062654957842noreply@blogger.com4